I often wonder what my children think of me. I know they love me. My thoughts are more along the lines of - what do they really think of or imagine about me? Who do they think I am?
I think it's very possible that a lot of us grew up with views of our parents that were a little skewed. Maybe for the worse. I know I had a view of my parents that wasn't correct. It was not a 'bad' view. I was just a little too imaginative. I think I lived in my own little world for the longest time - not really focusing in on the world around me, ever.
For example, the view and imaginations of my father were completely wrong. Again, it wasn't a bad view. Just a little too imaginative. I was just 7 years old - so give me a little break on my crazy imagination.
My father loved to play the guitar and sing. He would often sing to us and play his guitar in the evenings. I loved sitting on the shaggy carpet of our living room and listening to the folk type songs and songs of faith that he would sing. This is where my imagination would begin to run away with me.
I loved the sound of my father's voice and it reminded me of people I had heard on the radio - sometimes singing the same songs. Had my father actually been the lead singer of a popular band back in his younger days? I was quite certain that he had. I had seen the pictures of him as a teenager - I was pretty sure he could have been a member of The Monkeys. (I watched a lot of Nickelodeon at my grandparent's house)
The sporty car sitting in the drive way was another giveaway. Okay, I think it was actually a Chevy Impala - but to me it was one awesome car. Yes, I was sure that my guitar wielding, folksy singing and sports car driving father - was in fact - a former rock star. I was positive that he had settled down after years of record making, concert performances and globe trotting. He was now a father and doing the family thing.
Years went by and I forgot about my suspicions. I eventually grew older and became a college student. While checking out at a clothing store - a CD was placed in my bag. It must have been some promo item that was being handed out with purchases - I'm not sure. The sales clerk pulled it from a stack of CDs and placed it in the bag along with my purchase. I took it back to my apartment and forgot about it.
A few weeks later I picked it up and decided to see what was on it. I didn't recognize any of the songs but thought I'd listen to it and see what it was. The first song brought all of my imaginative stories about my father back to my thoughts. No, it wasn't my father singing - but the voice sounded a lot like what I remembered my father sounding like. There is something about the lead singer's voice that reminded me greatly of my father and all those nights he sang to us. I don't particularly enjoy the type of music on the CD but I've held onto this CD based solely on that. In fact, I have no idea what the meaning of the song is. The lyrics are a bit odd and I'm sure there is some underlying meaning or message - but I play it from time to time just to hear the voice and think back on yesteryear.
Below is a Youtube video of that song.
March 5, 2013
6:55 PM Tiffany Noth
How we view our parents.