When people have been talking about you

Saturday, October 13, 2012


My mother has always given me valuable insight. Some of it I didn't understand at the time but grew to see its meaning. She has an uncanny way of being able to see through words, glances and actions to see what is going on inside of someone. It isn't done in a judging spirit - but in a caring manner. She sees when someone's hurt is causing them to act certain ways or say different things. There is a lot of compassion behind any interaction she has with someone.

"And of some have compassion, making a difference"
Jude 1:22

When I was a teenager, she made the comment that you can always tell when someone has been talking about you. This didn't necessarily mean they were talking bad about you... maybe they were bragging you up or planning a surprise. Unfortunately, there are the times when they are not speaking compliments but uttering cruel comments.

I didn't grasp all of that at the moment. It took years. But eventually I saw what she meant. When someone who is suppose to have some bond of loyalty to you is speaking badly of you - it shows. It shows in the way they look at you, approach you or stand near you. It also shows in the people they spoke those betraying words to. They can also have a different approach toward you. Sometimes their heart or mind has been swayed about you and you have been left without an opportunity to tell your side of the story.

This happened very recently to me. It doesn't happen often. At least not from those who have a friendship or relationship of sorts with me. But it's human nature and it does happen.

The attitude began to show. Facial expressions were made. They could no longer stand beside me as they once did. Quick quips were made. Slowly I noticed that three other people were also behaving very awkwardly around me. I was too busy and pushed it off.

When someone treats me this way or lies to me... I tend to slowly walk away. The bond has been broken, the bridge is burned and trust is no longer there. Forgiveness? Yes. A continued friendship/relationship? No.

"And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32

How do you handle it when someone begins talking about you or having an attitude?