The radio that broke my back

Friday, May 4, 2012

The past two Sunday's, our pastor has made the statement that - discouragement is the best tool used against us. I think I struggle with it daily.

Today topped my discouragement sundae.

Even through all of my efforts and planning, today just refused to go how I had wanted it.

I scheduled extra school work for yesterday and Monday to make up for the fact that I wanted to take the kids on a field trip to Kings Island today. Not as much was finished yesterday as I had wanted. Monday will be busier than I had hoped.

A late start out the door and children who seemingly refused to get a long put us behind on arriving when I had to be at Kings Island. My loud annoying muffler made the drive - annoying. The chugging my car now does - that was pleasant as well.

I'm learning daily that yes, an EGR valve is important to your vehicle. Praying I can get it taken care of before it leaves us stranded.

Most trips to Kings Island are a lot of fun. I wish I could blame it on the full moon - but the kids wanted nothing to do with cooperating, getting along and not whining. "Stop whining" in my loudest whisper, was my most used phrase of the day.

Arguing over who had the privilege of deciding which ride would be next enveloped my two sweet children.

The unpleasant attitudes and dashing of my hopes for a wonderful day with my kids was more than I could take after a week of:

Receiving the "you do have school every day, right"? As if my homeschooling methods needed to be brought into question.

Others who have judged my schedule or time management because it doesn't align with theirs.

...and honestly, the list goes on. It has not been the best of weeks.

What was suppose to be a memory making day with my children seemed to go down hill and bring this week to a proper close.

After only being at the amusement park for about 5 hours, it began to rain.

I knew there was a chance of it, but really wanted my field trip with the kids.

I rushed the kids to the car where I remembered that this had happened when I unplugged the giant converter that allows me to charge my phone through the cigarette lighter.

Yes, my car is that old. None of the neat plugins for your iPods or cell phones. I need a converter to power my phone.

And guess what. My phone was dead.


I tried to see if I could put all the pieces back in their place so that we would have somewhat of a charged phone for the drive home.

No luck.

The kids arguing in the back and pouring their drinks on the floor.... lovely.

I managed to hold back a few tears and huffs that started developing.

I started the car and headed out of the parking lot. At least I could listen to the encouraging Christian radio stations I have programed into the radio.

That apparently died along with the lighter. Great! I could really have used uplifting music or sermons. I pushed back the tears and the knot in my throat.

So chug chug we go down the road... and the rain begins to pour so hard I can't see.

So do the tears.

I pretty much filled the hour and a half ride home with crying.

Before the phone had died, I managed to text Dan and tell him about my rough day.

When we arrived home... he had this waiting for me.

I think I'm pretty good at fighting discouragement most days. Days like this are rare for me. Everything building up and becoming more than I can carry at the moment.

Even now, I'm almost crying - because really some of today's issues won't disappear overnight. Hopefully I'll be better rested and strengthened for them tomorrow.

I don't write this for sympathy sake...

My life is blessed. I know that.

However, we all have rough days and as I reminded my friend when she seemed to consider removing a post where she talks about having a rough day - it's encouraging to know we aren't alone.

We all reach some moment where the pressure has built and we need to cry, we need to say it... we need a hug. Or maybe some very delicious ice cream.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose."
~ Romans 8:28

I know I've said it before - but it is a great reminder. We are told that all things will work together for good. We are not told that all things will be good.

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